LOS ANGELES FAL - 30 + she's finishing her degree!! character development :'( + WERE PENISES TAKEN oh astrid FAL - 30 + getting all csi up in this crime scene + successfully identifies the snake that bit lydia BUT NOT BC OF RACISM + snake whistle!!!!11 FAL - 30 + successfully splashed acid on a door + got stuck trying to climb in through a window like winnie the pooh; showed the team her hot pink underwear + didn't know whether to be scared or aroused by spiders. ASTRID. :| + got poison darted but not poisoned like a boss + "this better be worth it" "[disembodied hands room] "NOT FUCKING WORTH IT" + DISEMBODIED HANDS COMBAT XP + caught in lydia's friendly fire :'| + her "maybe there's a slightly bigger hand somewhere that's controlling them" theory … + got excited about the prospect of playing the identify the mystery fluid game + kept her going to the morgue excitement to herself FAL - 30 + "it's probably a serial killer" lmao astrid + "identify yourselves!" "you identify YOURself!!" oh astrid. + combat xp for dr. baker plus fleshgolem + "You should see if there's anything you can do for the doctor. He might have answers his paperwork doesn't." "Well, he's dead, so ... no." + just another successful completed mission moos
RUSSIA / SHADOW PLANE
LIVE SESSION + lmao her shock at drax having children like HE HAD CHILDREN????? + she had a legit spot check for that tallow throat shit. hashtag doctor. + basically just the best doctor + more b&e-ing with lila, fiona, and phineas + combat xp for that tallow throat person …?? and a ghost??? something. it was a long time ago! + there were fire elementals?? and shadow creatures?? +switched bodies with fiona for like five seconds. she got to be a drow, i'm sure it was a dream come true for her + casually doing beachside surgery on phineas. took out his appendix bc why not??? FAL - 30 + found a city with lila and snow, nbd + didn't lecture lila about smoking when they're all prob gonna die anyway + lmao "yay b&e". astrid and her b&e's… + combat xp against the gargoyles and shit + twinsies religion checks with lila + that nat 20 search tho; she wants to be on csi ok + she found that hella web wand! FAL - 30 + had the smart but ineffective idea to use a compass :'( + lmao the people on lost had it better than this. did they tho astrid. did they??? + SHIT WHAT HAPPENED TO FRANZ + "In Germany like, I don't know, forever ago now, magic stopped working. And sometimes when it did, there were all these weird side effects. Franz was a guy in the bumfuck village we went to who like legit went insane trying to cast a simple spell. I talked to his dad, he was nice. I said we'd be in touch, but then there was the underground torture puzzle basement and the timewarp so that .... didn't actually happen. I'm sure he's fine. And if he's not, we're probably going to die here, so it doesn't even matter." + has an existential crisis over not having red hair in a b/w world + GOT LILA'S RESURRECTION DIAMOND :'( (temporarily) FAL - 30 + when you say despayr do u mean the dude or the general emotion …
SKYPE SESSION + 2 guards / tiefling / horcupine combat + is more effective at fighting than fuckin drax!! + nat 20 use magic device check + beating spiders at their own game + skull soldier + 2 guards combat + narrowly missing the chance to revive the lady to torture her + reading the letter +helping open the trunk + taking some gold yeahhhhh + educating phineas about angry birds + evil void face thing combat?? + getting lesbian init w lila + jumping through the portal + fighting horses fine i guess they were witches w/e + fighting a motherfuckin GIANT ASS DRAGON
FAL - 5 + totally promoting (voluntary) gps tracker chipping the knights ftr. THINK OF ALL THE PROBLEMS THAT COULD BE AVOIDED. FAL - 5 + nbd just more cryptic melodrama with astrid FAL - 5 + gossips about heat of the moment situations on andres with faye. never gonna quench that thirst for val'drin's d tbh FAL - 5 + a+ gold star for astrid realizing abigail's dad is a serial killer + and then … being excited about it …………… + compared the bloody benders to "bates motel meets little house on the prairie" FAL - 5
FAL - 5 + belatedly remembered lila's birthday what a good friend + white girl whoooo-ing and love proclamations like 5 minutes into the evening of her party FAL - 5 + she compared herself and faye to jack and thomas never stops laughing + neva 5get: "Totally! I mean, I'm still sort of hung up on the no relationships with anyone thing, but maybe Wynn will just ... get over it. I mean like, Jack is getting married or something, right? And Thomas is dead — which, tragedy of the century, okay — which means he has zero Claws. And like, everyone else around here is hooking up, right? It's basically Gossip Girl. So what I'm saying is, he needs to review his policies. And also, girl Dragon's Claw because feminism." FAL - 5 + SHE GOT TO DANCE WITH JASON STATHAM (ok it was elena shhh) IT WAS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER all her dreams came true tbh FAL - 30 + uses her eidetic memory to deliver sick burns to damon + so casual about her dinosaur murder life FAL - 30 + people are so dumb unless they're unconscious lmfao astrid FAL - 30 + actually did ok at hitting fred even tho he was too strong and manly to feel anything + they're adorable and i love them tbh FAL - 5 + "Did you look in the treat bags? There's the stuff in them to make a red-headed slut! Like me!" bless her + had a take it like a man moment with rocket while they robbed a department store together + tried to put rocket on youtube to make money … shakes head + "No, I'm teaching you stage presence! Acting! Oh my god, I've got it! You know the raccoons in the woods? Go ... sit out there and watch one. And then, take whatever you learned, and emulate it." + almost taught rocket first aid … but she was drunk and probably forgot this happened once sober. FAL - 30 + LMFAO ASTRID THE GERMAN GIVING OUT GOLD STARS so inappropriate i love it FAL - 30 + alice and astrid because bffs because they're both STEM girls. so precious FAL - 30 + called out abigail's mouse costume for not having a tail + lmfao HER CONSPIRACY THEORY ABOUT BELLE BEING PREGGO + this was also the birthplace of her "someone's favorite starbucks order is like looking into their soul" theory + lmao sentient plant murder + "you're so fucking creepy, i love you" FAL - 30 + this is where she decided she was going to get a cat and film cat-raccoon buddy videos with rocket. since she does not have a cat today, i assume she was really drunk and forgot about this, too. FAL - 30 + tries to teach sebastian not to say milady and other Nice Guy behaviors FAL - 30 + white girl shrieking at each other
FAL - 30 + GIRLS NIGHT + so proud of her dumb pink car + sang the lil jon shots song … like always …
FAL - 30 + congratulated andrew for getting married in her special astrid way + gave andrew a mental breakdown over babies, nbd FAL - 30 + melodramatically reunited with wheatley + just casually threatens his life multiple times it's fine FAL - 30 + randomly disses switzerland then flounces off. yep.
FAL - 30 + she was part of the magical porn watching experience FAL - 30 + remember the time she broke into gus's apartment IN NEW YORK bc she needed gay best friend advice … yep. i'm sure gus remembers. + "i have so many problems" lmfao + her melodramatic gossip girl love life + doesn't want to be a lesbian because she "really likes dicks" + casually smokes pot in gus's apartment like one does when they go to visit gus + "you're suuuch a drug dealer" lmao rolls eyes at astrid + "Gay men give the best advice, okay?! It's science! Okay, not like, real science, but it's at least pseudoscience." + proclaiming that no one else is gayer than gus lmfao + entertaining the thought of breaking up with adam bc "relationships are hard" + got away with calling gus bitch. twice. FAL - 30 + ~GOING TO ASTRID'S FAMILY HOME~ + her dumb brother exists + i feel like astrid deserves xp for lila giving her brother a boner like instantly upon meeting him. where else is that xp gonna go??? + has copies of spider beat (the crow tiger beat OBVIOUSLY) in her room + her favorite food is french fry salad. bless + preaches to lila about how she needs to eat vegetables!!!! + "I'm like a cat, Astrid. I'll be fine." "Cats don't actually live that long …" cries + astrid rants about pregnancy and what it does to ur vagina (again) + considers adopting children because "it would be cool to have little servants" …. + RIGHT AFTER ANDRES TOO SERIOUSLY ASTRID + went shopping with lila instead of talking more about emotions
AL - 25 + she found another doctor friend!! and readily accepted him into her life even tho he's a hella nerd + already pulling topher into her gossipy ho life + they're both adorable ok
FAL - 30 + reminiscing with lila about their shitty shadow plane times + they would have suicide packed together lmao idiots + talks about how sexy phineas's veins are + got a homemade merit badge from lila for saving lives + AND TIFFANY + BEING THE FIRST PERSON TO NOTICE LILA'S ENGAGEMENT RING she's such a good friend/doctor + planned lila's bachelorette party, she was so excited and adorable + gonna find some drow male strippers + discovery unlocked: her middle name is vivianne + loves the part of drow culture where men exist to serve women and ignores everything else she's like one of those girls on tumblr
AL - 25 + though groot and peter were rocket's boyfriends lmao + introduced rocket to the creepy wizard of oz tree + defends groot bc he "produces oxygen so we don't die" + she got lost in how great she is lmao + chastises rocket for trying to stage a prison break to get peter to love him be his friend again. MATURITY + tried to punish him with adam sandler + might promote him someday … maybe AL - 25 + crooked penis obsession. i'm so sorry shawn + GOT OFFENDED AT SHAWN BEING LIKE HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ALL THESE PENISES THO sjfkgld + still gonna get him sbux tho
FAL - 30 + actually tried to get groot to make her a flower crown what kind of white girl tumblrina bullshit
FAL - 30 + a+ bridesmaiding AL 25 + not a charismatic hero …
10 months of xp for astrid I'M SORRY
LOS ANGELES
FAL - 30
+ she's finishing her degree!! character development :'(
+ WERE PENISES TAKEN oh astrid
FAL - 30
+ getting all csi up in this crime scene
+ successfully identifies the snake that bit lydia BUT NOT BC OF RACISM
+ snake whistle!!!!11
FAL - 30
+ successfully splashed acid on a door
+ got stuck trying to climb in through a window like winnie the pooh; showed the team her hot pink underwear
+ didn't know whether to be scared or aroused by spiders. ASTRID. :|
+ got poison darted but not poisoned like a boss
+ "this better be worth it"
"[disembodied hands room]
"NOT FUCKING WORTH IT"
+ DISEMBODIED HANDS COMBAT XP
+ caught in lydia's friendly fire :'|
+ her "maybe there's a slightly bigger hand somewhere that's controlling them" theory …
+ got excited about the prospect of playing the identify the mystery fluid game
+ kept her going to the morgue excitement to herself
FAL - 30
+ "it's probably a serial killer" lmao astrid
+ "identify yourselves!"
"you identify YOURself!!"
oh astrid.
+ combat xp for dr. baker plus fleshgolem
+ "You should see if there's anything you can do for the doctor. He might have answers his paperwork doesn't."
"Well, he's dead, so ... no."
+ just another successful completed mission moos
RUSSIA / SHADOW PLANE
LIVE SESSION
+ lmao her shock at drax having children like HE HAD CHILDREN?????
+ she had a legit spot check for that tallow throat shit. hashtag doctor.
+ basically just the best doctor
+ more b&e-ing with lila, fiona, and phineas
+ combat xp for that tallow throat person …?? and a ghost??? something. it was a long time ago!
+ there were fire elementals?? and shadow creatures??
+switched bodies with fiona for like five seconds. she got to be a drow, i'm sure it was a dream come true for her
+ casually doing beachside surgery on phineas. took out his appendix bc why not???
FAL - 30
+ found a city with lila and snow, nbd
+ didn't lecture lila about smoking when they're all prob gonna die anyway
+ lmao "yay b&e". astrid and her b&e's…
+ combat xp against the gargoyles and shit
+ twinsies religion checks with lila
+ that nat 20 search tho; she wants to be on csi ok
+ she found that hella web wand!
FAL - 30
+ had the smart but ineffective idea to use a compass :'(
+ lmao the people on lost had it better than this. did they tho astrid. did they???
+ SHIT WHAT HAPPENED TO FRANZ
+ "In Germany like, I don't know, forever ago now, magic stopped working. And sometimes when it did, there were all these weird side effects. Franz was a guy in the bumfuck village we went to who like legit went insane trying to cast a simple spell. I talked to his dad, he was nice. I said we'd be in touch, but then there was the underground torture puzzle basement and the timewarp so that .... didn't actually happen. I'm sure he's fine. And if he's not, we're probably going to die here, so it doesn't even matter."
+ has an existential crisis over not having red hair in a b/w world
+ GOT LILA'S RESURRECTION DIAMOND :'( (temporarily)
FAL - 30
+ when you say despayr do u mean the dude or the general emotion …
SKYPE SESSION
+ 2 guards / tiefling / horcupine combat
+ is more effective at fighting than fuckin drax!!
+ nat 20 use magic device check
+ beating spiders at their own game
+ skull soldier + 2 guards combat
+ narrowly missing the chance to revive the lady to torture her
+ reading the letter
+helping open the trunk
+ taking some gold yeahhhhh
+ educating phineas about angry birds
+ evil void face thing combat??
+ getting lesbian init w lila
+ jumping through the portal
+ fighting
horsesfine i guess they were witches w/e+ fighting a motherfuckin GIANT ASS DRAGON
FAL - 30
+ finishing this fuckin mission xp
SOCIAL
FAL - 5
+ totally promoting (voluntary) gps tracker chipping the knights ftr. THINK OF ALL THE PROBLEMS THAT COULD BE AVOIDED.
FAL - 5
+ nbd just more cryptic melodrama with astrid
FAL - 5
+ gossips about heat of the moment situations on andres with faye. never gonna quench that thirst for val'drin's d tbh
FAL - 5
+ a+ gold star for astrid realizing abigail's dad is a serial killer
+ and then … being excited about it ……………
+ compared the bloody benders to "bates motel meets little house on the prairie"
FAL - 5
FAL - 5
+ belatedly remembered lila's birthday what a good friend
+ white girl whoooo-ing and love proclamations like 5 minutes into the evening of her party
FAL - 5
+ she compared herself and faye to jack and thomas never stops laughing
+ neva 5get: "Totally! I mean, I'm still sort of hung up on the no relationships with anyone thing, but maybe Wynn will just ... get over it. I mean like, Jack is getting married or something, right? And Thomas is dead — which, tragedy of the century, okay — which means he has zero Claws. And like, everyone else around here is hooking up, right? It's basically Gossip Girl. So what I'm saying is, he needs to review his policies. And also, girl Dragon's Claw because feminism."
FAL - 5
+ SHE GOT TO DANCE WITH JASON STATHAM (ok it was elena shhh) IT WAS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER all her dreams came true tbh
FAL - 30
+ uses her eidetic memory to deliver sick burns to damon
+ so casual about her dinosaur murder life
FAL - 30
+ people are so dumb unless they're unconscious lmfao astrid
FAL - 30
+ actually did ok at hitting fred even tho he was too strong and manly to feel anything
+ they're adorable and i love them tbh
FAL - 5
+ "Did you look in the treat bags? There's the stuff in them to make a red-headed slut! Like me!" bless her
+ had a take it like a man moment with rocket while they robbed a department store together
+ tried to put rocket on youtube to make money … shakes head
+ "No, I'm teaching you stage presence! Acting! Oh my god, I've got it! You know the raccoons in the woods? Go ... sit out there and watch one. And then, take whatever you learned, and emulate it."
+ almost taught rocket first aid … but she was drunk and probably forgot this happened once sober.
FAL - 30
+ LMFAO ASTRID THE GERMAN GIVING OUT GOLD STARS so inappropriate i love it
FAL - 30
+ alice and astrid because bffs because they're both STEM girls. so precious
FAL - 30
+ called out abigail's mouse costume for not having a tail
+ lmfao HER CONSPIRACY THEORY ABOUT BELLE BEING PREGGO
+ this was also the birthplace of her "someone's favorite starbucks order is like looking into their soul" theory
+ lmao sentient plant murder
+ "you're so fucking creepy, i love you"
FAL - 30
+ this is where she decided she was going to get a cat and film cat-raccoon buddy videos with rocket. since she does not have a cat today, i assume she was really drunk and forgot about this, too.
FAL - 30
+ tries to teach sebastian not to say milady and other Nice Guy behaviors
FAL - 30
+ white girl shrieking at each other
FAL - 30
+ GIRLS NIGHT
+ so proud of her dumb pink car
+ sang the lil jon shots song … like always …
FAL - 30
+ congratulated andrew for getting married in her special astrid way
+ gave andrew a mental breakdown over babies, nbd
FAL - 30
+ melodramatically reunited with wheatley
+ just casually threatens his life multiple times it's fine
FAL - 30
+ randomly disses switzerland then flounces off. yep.
FAL - 30
+ she was part of the magical porn watching experience
FAL - 30
+ remember the time she broke into gus's apartment IN NEW YORK bc she needed gay best friend advice … yep. i'm sure gus remembers.
+ "i have so many problems" lmfao
+ her melodramatic gossip girl love life
+ doesn't want to be a lesbian because she "really likes dicks"
+ casually smokes pot in gus's apartment like one does when they go to visit gus
+ "you're suuuch a drug dealer" lmao rolls eyes at astrid
+ "Gay men give the best advice, okay?! It's science! Okay, not like, real science, but it's at least pseudoscience."
+ proclaiming that no one else is gayer than gus lmfao
+ entertaining the thought of breaking up with adam bc "relationships are hard"
+ got away with calling gus bitch. twice.
FAL - 30
+ ~GOING TO ASTRID'S FAMILY HOME~
+ her dumb brother exists
+ i feel like astrid deserves xp for lila giving her brother a boner like instantly upon meeting him. where else is that xp gonna go???
+ has copies of spider beat (the crow tiger beat OBVIOUSLY) in her room
+ her favorite food is french fry salad. bless
+ preaches to lila about how she needs to eat vegetables!!!!
+ "I'm like a cat, Astrid. I'll be fine."
"Cats don't actually live that long …"
cries
+ astrid rants about pregnancy and what it does to ur vagina (again)
+ considers adopting children because "it would be cool to have little servants" ….
+ RIGHT AFTER ANDRES TOO SERIOUSLY ASTRID
+ went shopping with lila instead of talking more about emotions
AL - 25
+ she found another doctor friend!! and readily accepted him into her life even tho he's a hella nerd
+ already pulling topher into her gossipy ho life
+ they're both adorable ok
FAL - 30
+ reminiscing with lila about their shitty shadow plane times
+ they would have suicide packed together lmao idiots
+ talks about how sexy phineas's veins are
+ got a homemade merit badge from lila for saving lives
+ AND TIFFANY
+ BEING THE FIRST PERSON TO NOTICE LILA'S ENGAGEMENT RING she's such a good friend/doctor
+ planned lila's bachelorette party, she was so excited and adorable
+ gonna find some drow male strippers
+ discovery unlocked: her middle name is vivianne
+ loves the part of drow culture where men exist to serve women and ignores everything else she's like one of those girls on tumblr
AL - 25
+ though groot and peter were rocket's boyfriends lmao
+ introduced rocket to the creepy wizard of oz tree
+ defends groot bc he "produces oxygen so we don't die"
+ she got lost in how great she is lmao
+ chastises rocket for trying to stage a prison break to get peter to
love himbe his friend again. MATURITY+ tried to punish him with adam sandler
+ might promote him someday … maybe
AL - 25
+ crooked penis obsession. i'm so sorry shawn
+ GOT OFFENDED AT SHAWN BEING LIKE HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ALL THESE PENISES THO sjfkgld
+ still gonna get him sbux tho
FAL - 30
+ actually tried to get groot to make her a flower crown what kind of white girl tumblrina bullshit
FAL - 30
+ a+ bridesmaiding
AL 25
+ not a charismatic hero …
---
1,045 xp